06/27/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 0 comments

Wouldn’t it be GREAT if Support Could Take Away the Challenge?

In student affairs, one of the “go to” standard responses (especially during the job interview process) when asked how one translates theory to practice is to provide challenge and support. The origin of this phrase in the field comes from Nevitt Sanford’s (1967) theory of challenge and support. I’m not always certain based on my experiences, however, that the theory translates over into the field exactly how it was designed. In fact, the more experiences I’ve had in the field the more I’ve found myself responding by asking the question, “what do you mean by that?” or “what does that look like?” when I hear someone say that they will “challenge and support the student.” I ask these questions because in my experience using challenge and support often looks like this:

Step one: Student finds a student affairs professional and says that they are overwhelmed/stressed/upset/not doing well with something.

Step two: Student affairs professional listens to the student and then helps the student figure out what to do about the problem. The help that is given to the student more often than not involves telling the student what steps they need to take.

Step three: Student follows the steps, or does not, and either the problem is solved or it is not (if it is not, and the student returns to the student affairs professional to discuss it again, or the student affairs professional hears from someone else that the student didn’t follow the steps they were told to follow, and discussion is often had about how it is the student’s fault for not “accepting the help” they were receiving…in other words, not doing what they had been told to do)

Step four: Student affairs professional feels good because the professional helped provide support for the student as the student was experiencing challenge.

I can’t help but wonder, however, if students are learning from such experiences what they should be learning from institutions of higher education. I’m also not sure that using challenge and support in this way is what Sanford intended… as I don’t really believe in the idea of using support to remove the challenge. I also don’t believe it is very helpful to create relationships with students where they are dependent on student affairs professionals to get the answers to their questions. Doing so often results in students repeatedly coming back to student affairs professionals to ask what they should be doing in a variety of situations, and student affairs professionals telling them how to address their issue (although this might make us feel popular/wanted as student affairs professionals, it has potential to result in quite a number of challenges for students upon graduation when they no longer have a student affairs professional to go to for all of the answers to the challenges they are experiencing). I’m not saying that students should be ignored when they seek out help, or be told to “figure it out” for themselves. Rather, I think we want students to learn to consider what they already know and how that might help them navigate through whatever experience they are being challenged by. Doing so, does not mean that students are alone in the process of navigating through whatever challenge they are experiencing, but rather it means that we partner with them. In other words, the support we provide is us being with them as they work through the challenge. I actually experienced such support this morning as I installed a ceiling fan.

Yes, challenge and support is applicable to all learning experiences…including installing ceiling fans. 🙂

This is the finished product:

Yet, it almost didn’t become a finished product because I had reached a point of maximum frustration and impatience (lots of “this is stupid” and “why did I ever start this?” kinds of thoughts were occurring both in my mind, as well as being muttered under my breath). You see, I have learned just enough about changing out lights/fans/etc. that I am now the family member volunteered for such home improvement projects when visiting relatives. Given that I currently am visiting my sister, I was volunteered (and agruably I volunteeered myself, although I am hesitant to admit it given my most recent Sarah-as-an-electrician fan installation experience) because I wanted to do something nice for her (she is having surgery today, and I thought it would be nice to do something nice for her to experience when she returned home). I had most certainly reached a point where I just wanted to be told what to do by someone else to solve the problem of the switch not working after I thought I had done everything I should have done. So, reached out to my partner, John, and asked him to do just that. I even, in quite a sassy tone, told him that I didn’t know what to do and was done.

“I’m done. I quit. Just tell me what to do.”

Instead of responding by telling me what to do, he asked me to explain what steps I had taken. At first, I will admit, I was quite frustrated by this question. I didn’t want to tell him what I had done, I just wanted the switch to work!!!

Once I told him the steps I had taken, he asked me what I knew about why it might not be working. This led to us determining that perhaps the wiring wasn’t as straight forward as it appeared. In other words (this will make sense if you’ve ever done any electrical work) matching the black wire to the black wire, and the white wire to the white wire no matter how many times I did it was not going to provide different results (indeed, my continual repetitive trials of doing so were already proving this!).

At this point in time, I had calmed down enough that I started to consider again what might be going on. This time, however, John and I problem solved together, and the question of how we could figure it out was raised. This led to me getting on the internet and searching words that explained the experience I was having. At the same time, John thought that perhaps looking at the wire connection of a switch hook up in another room could help. Once we each did that, we discussed what steps we would take next and low and behold we got the switch working. (Hallelujah!)

Funny enough, John providing me with this kind of partnership, instead of just telling me what to do, has actually resulted in me feeling satisfied and motivated to install a second ceiling fan. While I shared this experience as an example of the kind of partnership that reflects a more complex way of providing challenge and support, and not one in which John used support to “solve” my challenge, it also illustrates the motivation and skill development that results from such partnering.

The next fan I will be replacing:

(Yes, you are correct…that is a baseball fan ;))

06/19/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 0 comments

Share a Story of an Intercultural Challenge

I presented a workshop last week, and one of the activities that I asked the participates to engage in has stayed with me since. The activity was to identify an intercultural challenge you’ve experienced and to share that story with a partner. The partner than tells you, the storyteller, what values they hear being communicated. Your job, as the storyteller, is to then stay open to hearing from your partner the values identified, and consider whether you meant for those to be the values shared.

So powerful.

Because of this activity, I’ve now been hearing the stories that I share with others, and considering the values being communicated. (I highly recommend trying this activity at home, although doing so, is quite challenging.)

The institute at which I presented this workshop was the Harbor Institute’s Cross Cultural Fraternal Advisors Institute in Atlanta Georgia (check it out and register for next year’s institute here: http://www.theharborinstitute.com/ccfai.asp and https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2015-cross-cultural-fraternal-advisors-institute-tickets-11972290443). It was the first time for the institute, which is the first time I’ve ever participated in the first go around of a conference/institute/etc that wasn’t something I was creating from my own professional role on a college campus. It was an intense, rewarding, learning experience to say the least. I am quite grateful for the opportunity I received.

An aside: I mentioned in my last blog that it was going to be my first time in Atlanta beyond the airport. Now I can confidently say that I’ve been to the Atlanta airport, and to the Marriott Marquis Downtown. At this rate, it appears as though Atlanta is going to be a city I get to know building by building each time I visit.

I do know, however, that I wasn’t really there to “see” Atlanta, but rather I was there to be a part of an experience unlike many others I’ve attended. My saying that makes it sound as though I was more conscious of what the experience would be like than I was, which isn’t true. Yes, I was aware of the two sessions I would be facilitating, but I wasn’t sure exactly how the overall experience would go. I think that some of my unawareness of the atmosphere of the institute has to do with how much time, or shall I say how little time, I’ve spend considering (beyond research that I’ve read and interacting with students) what it means for members of Culturally-Based Greek-Letter Organizations to be advised by someone like me. I certainly think about it much more now as a faculty member in a preparation program, but I’ve only been doing that for three years if I also give myself the two years prior to becoming faculty that brings my “considering what this means” up to five years total, which really is not that much given that I’ve been working in the field for going on 14 years. What I mean by someone like me, is someone who is a White woman that is a member of a National Panhellenic Council organization….the description of someone like me is the description of most fraternity and sorority life advisors at institutions across the country.

So important to realize.

Seriously, I want to state again…I’ve spent minimal time given my professional career, beyond reading studies and various student interactions, considering what it means for Culturally-Based Greek-letter organizations to be advised by someone like me, and I don’t believe that I’m alone in that. I know that such organizations can often be the only place students feel welcome, especially at predominately White institutions, and I know some of the differences between my own organization and all other Greek-letter organizations. But I can see now how some of my own behaviors weren’t helping to successfully learn more about all of the organizations I was there to support, and I’ve come to this realization not just by participating in the advisors institute, but by engaging in the above storytelling activity I spoke about.

As a professional, I was hesitant to ask questions of the students because I was unsure if the language I was using was correct. I wanted Culturally-Based Greek-Letter Organizations to be at all of the same events that all the other Greek-Letter Organizations were at, even if I was asking the same four students over and over again to step up to the task, because I thought it would help them to feel included. I also though it would prove to others what Culturally-Based Greek-Letter organizations have to contribute. In essence, I was underestimating the students who joined Culturally-Based Greek-letter Organizations and I was placing on their experience my values of competition, community, and competence–without even realizing it! (This is not to say that Culturally-Based Greek-Letter Organizations don’t share these same values…but I had not asked). I was underestimating that they wouldn’t help me learn if I didn’t know the correct language to use, and I was setting up their worth as groups to be the same as other Greek-Letter Organizations as though all groups are the same. It is ironic to reflect back and see my behaviors and realize that they are connected to underestimating the students. One of my mentor’s once gave me advice, that I often still pass along to students, and that is to

“never underestimate the students”

yet, I can see how I was doing exactly that. Unfortunately, I can’t go back in time, and I don’t want to simply say that I will work to be more aware going forward. That sounds too simple. Too dismissive. I am grateful for my time at the institute this past week because it helped me to see how important it is to create spaces where such reflection can occur (including such reflection for myself) because it is through such reflection that true change can occur. I’m not sure that we do a good job of that as student affairs professionals. We blame time, energy, and other resources as to why we don’t spend time reflecting on the impact we have on our practice. Although all of those reasons maybe very true, I believe that we make time for the things we find important, and to be able to do that, we must see what we are currently viewing as important and determine if the values we are communicating and enacting are the values that we want to be communicating and enacting.

06/10/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 0 comments

New Experiences

In one of the courses I teach, I include an assignment where the students are asked to have an experience on campus that they would not usually have, and then spend time reflecting on that experience, as well as considering what they’ve learned about themselves. The assignment is usually one of their favorites, and the students gain a lot of insight. Most of the students indicate that they are going to commit to having other such experiences because they see how much they learned just by attending and participating in a new experience. Unfortunately, making such a commitment doesn’t always result in actually participating in new experiences. I don’t think the students I teach are unlike most of the rest of us when it comes to new experiences. It is much easier to stay with what is comfortable and familiar. Yet, just as the students I teach discover, new experiences quite often lead to undiscovered insight.

One could say that new experiences are always had when new books are read. To a degree, I can understand this perspective. However, there can be comfort and familiarity with books too. Certainly, it is important to deepen one’s learning about a topic, but perhaps the “newer” of the new experiences comes from reading about a completely new topic and/or reading authors who come from backgrounds unfamiliar to you. I’ve been having such a new experience lately, as I make my way through the book: The Misrepresented Minority.

I actually selected the book because I knew that I would learn new information, and so far, it’s been great! The book is a series of chapters discussing the experience of various Asian American and Pacific Islander experiences at institutions of higher education. (SO important to know!) So many different experiences are shared, and in such vulnerable ways, that I feel my brain being stretched and curious to learn more. I’ve had no troubles reading the book, and often find myself wishing I had a conversation partner I could discuss it with. I do plan on using exerts from the book in various classes starting this fall, which I believe will greatly enhance the courses I teach.

Another new experience I am about to embark on is experiencing Atlanta, Georgia. I am presenting at the Cross Cultural Fraternal Advisors Institute, which is being held there.

The most I’ve ever experience Atlanta, is the airport, so this is most certainly a new experience. I admit that I’m a bit anxious, but I’m also excited. Hopefully I will discover some good food, and establish some new connections with colleagues.

What new experiences have you sought out recently?

06/05/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 0 comments

On Being Certain and Normal Science

This morning I went for a run, which is a newer endeavor I started up at the end of April. I mentioned my recent interest in running in a previous blog, but as a recap…about 10 years ago I ran quite a bit, I moved away from it for a variety of reasons (PhD school being one of them), and this:

is what I imagine myself looking like when I go running. So, for about the past five weeks, I’ve run every other day. My goal is to get to a place where I can comfortably run a 5k.

During the time I’ve been running, I’ve increased my distance to the point where I am now running about 2 miles at a time. I use an app (Strava…it is free and is great! :)) to track my route, distance, and time. This morning, however, I ran much further than I have over the past several weeks. I ran 2.7 miles, and it felt good. In fact, if it wasn’t for a few service people coming to our house to fix/build some things, I probably would have continued running (me=turning into Forrest Gump).

I’m quite proud of myself for running 2.7 miles. Mostly because I woke up this morning and did not want to run. I even texted my running accountability partner about it. I just wasn’t “feeling” it, and was pretty much trying to just focus on having the whole experience over for the day.

(This is probably much closer to what I look like when I run.)

So, you might be able to imagine my surprise when Strava told me that I had run 2.7 miles. I’ve actually experienced such surprise two other times this week (that I’m consciously aware of), and both of those have caused me to pause as well. In each of those situations, I also found myself quite certain about what it was that I was talking about and how something was going to be, and in each of those situations I found myself to be wrong. Being wrong to me, however, really isn’t much of a surprise, which is why I’ve noticed myself pausing a bit more and considering how I can own my mistake in front of the other person so that they can see that I recognize my mistake. What it has all led me to consider, though, is Thomas Kuhn and his essays captured in the book The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. I was finding myself caught up in “normal science”.

“Normal science, the activity in which most scientists inevitably spend most all their time, is predicated on the assumption that the scientific community knows what the world is like. Normal science often suppresses fundamental novelties because they are necessarily subversive of its basic commitments. As a puzzle-solving activity, normal science does not aim at novelties of fact or theory and, when successful, finds none.”

In each of the experiences I had, I was quite certain that I knew “what the world was like”, and I went into each experience with that in mind.

I was not going to like my run today. It was going to be painful, and frustrating.

And in each of these experiences I found myself curious as to why I thought I was so certain.

I really enjoyed my run, and could have kept going.

After all, I knew that there was information that I know that I don’t know, yet I found myself wanting so badly to know something, that I turned what I was aware of into the fully story. I’m pretty sure that I’m not alone in this behavior, and I’m quite confident that it will occur many more times despite my efforts for it not to. I don’t say this in an effort to not try…more to acknowledge my own imperfect self. What I can do though is to continue to recognize that there is always going to be information missing and things I don’t see, and to continually strive to be open to hearing more of and about it. I can also continue to own when I have make a mistake, as well reflection on the process of how I got to such a place originally.

05/29/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 3 Comments

Discussing Metacognition in Student Affairs

As a doctoral student at the University of Maryland, I was required to take classes toward a concentration. I knew that I wanted my concentration to be in learning and development (my true passion), but I admit that I was quite nervous to take courses outside of my degree department. Still, I kept in mind the advice I received from Sharon Parks Daloz during my first year as a student affairs professional at Longwood University. She had come to campus to speak, and I had the opportunity to drive her home, which I took full advantage of by asking her about the PhD process (I knew that I wanted to obtain a PhD, but was still in the exploration phase). I can only imagine she was exhausted when I dropped her off at the airport from the amount of questions I asked, but she was so kind and patient in responding to all of them (Thank you, Sharon!). One piece of advice that she shared that stuck with me was to, “take courses outside of the field I was interested in contributing to so as to find unique contributions/ideas/thoughts/insights.” And so this was the advice that I clung to as I entered unfamiliar classrooms in unfamiliar buildings in pursuit of my concentration.

Perhaps the course I was the most nervous about taking was a cognitive psychology course. I recall having to look on the campus map for the building, and arriving early the first day to make sure that I found the classroom. I wasn’t sure of the style of teaching I would experience, and knew that I would fail miserably at any course that was going to require rote memorization. Considering this thought now makes me chuckle a bit, given that such a teaching style would not implore all of the research contributions cognitive psychology has made to the learning process…at the time though I was unfamiliar with such contributions. I just knew that I was leaving the familiar discussion-based classroom environment of the Benjamin Building!

It was here in this course that I began reading articles from the field of neuroscience, and considering the physical processes of the brain such working memory, executive function, and long term memory. I could see the benefit of research conducted from a more positivist paradigm (although I did keep showing my paradigm by thinking…why try to control for so much when people don’t experience the world in such a controlled way?), as it allowed for a deeper understanding of specific details. All of this, I was encouraged to translate into what I understood to be the learning process, specifically the transformative learning process that I was exploring and writing a bit about in the field of student affairs. It was exciting as I could see the interconnections of two fields, and it added depth to what I was learning about the developmental process spoken about my theorists such as Piaget, Kegan, and Bronfenbrenner. I’ve continued post-PhD to explore as much as possible fields such a neuroscience, biology, physics, and psychology for the insights being made into the learning process. In this continued exploration, I have come to learn more about the process of metacognition, and recently came across this chart:

to demonstrate the process of metacognition. James Zull (2011) included it in his most recent book titled From Brain to Mind. It is his depiction of the process one needs to experience to move from brain to mind…to reach metacognition. In the chart you would move up through the different levels. Zull goes into a detailed discussion of what it might look like to be “at” each “bar” in the chart, and I encourage you to read his book for more insight. What is hanging with me is the assertion he makes that metacognition depends on the nature of our experiences, and that these experiences must involve self-awareness. That such experience must allow the learner to integrate, “cognition, emotion, action, feelings, sensory experiences, and motor experiences” (p. 279). They must encourage the learner to draw and develop connections. It is from this that “the self emerges”, and it is allowing spaces for the learner to be them “selves” that allows for difference, that allows unique interactions with the world, and through unique interactions innovation thrives. Innovation is what many argue our world needs to continue progressing. Innovation is what many argue we need for survival.

So, I, like Zull, offer the above chart and my reflections here to encourage a discussion to those in the field of student affairs. What are your thoughts about how you design experiences for metacognition within the learner? What are your thoughts about involving self-awareness for the learner?

05/23/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 0 comments

Looking Within to See What is Out There

This is the second summer I’ve had the opportunity to help guide a book club with a great colleague, Stacey, for the First Year Experience (FYE) instructors. Last year, we facilitated conversations about Ken Bain’s book, What the Best College Teachers Do. It was a pretty quick, but worthwhile, book…and not just for those teaching FYE courses (really quite a good book for anyone interesting in teaching/learning).

This year, the book we’ve selected is Parker J. Palmer’s The Courage to Teach. From what I understand it is sort of considered a classic to those that teach (my clue to this realization was the publication of an anniversary edition). I actually have already read it once, but it about 10 years ago, so am excited to be reading it again this summer.

Although the book club hasn’t officially started yet, I have begun to read the book. And in true Palmer style (I’ve read a few of his other books–which I highly recommend!) he’s got me thinking. Sometimes I think that he has some sort of magical power that enables him to speak directly to what I’ve been ruminating on the most. This was at least my experience this week (and has been my experience many times in the past). Since the school year has come to a close, and I’ve actually found myself experiencing a bit more stress free environment, I’ve been spending a lot of time consider how I see myself in relation to others, as well as how it seems that others are seeing me. Unfortunately in my experience these two “selves” aren’t always the same for a myriad of reasons, which can lead to frustration and curiosity. Lately it has led to much more curiosity, which has also been pleasantly accompanied by a calmness. I heard Palmer speak to my recent reflections when he wrote,

“..we cannot see what is ‘out there’ merely by looking around. Everything depends on the lenses through which we view the world. By putting on new lenses, we can see things that would otherwise remain invisible” (Palmer, 2007, p. 27).

And my response to him would be, “Yes!” However, I still felt just as contemplative after reading his thoughts. His words, though, were helpful in that they reminded me that there are always more ways, “lenses” to look through at our experiences. Sometimes I will admit that it can be quite challenging to kept such a perspective in mind. Full confession…it is terribly hard to keep this in mind when I feel hurt, upset, wronged, etc….synonym in any other negative feeling word because it is in those moments that I want to be right. That I want my way of understanding the experience to be THE way of understanding the experience. My lens to be the correct lens. And so when I consider the differences I notice between how I see and understand myself, and how other others might see and understand me, I cannot help but wonder what other perspectives besides just those two might exist? How I can find even more lenses to try on as I seek to understand my experiences, and how I can recognize my desire to be “right” in such a way that it becomes just one lens through which I am viewing the world?

05/15/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 0 comments

Privilege and Developing One’s Mind

About two weeks ago I decided to give running a try again…10 years ago I ran every other day pretty consistently.

(This is what I imagine I look like when I’m running)

Since that time, I moved away from running and began doing other things such as spinning, a Les Mills program called Body Pump (a great program that I highly recommend), and I will admit it…sometimes nothing. This winter, though, felt endless. And so, as soon as the weather turned a bit warmer I decided it was time to get outdoors and be active. A few students within the program I teach inspired me to take up running by sharing their stories, and so this spring I began running again. So far I am up to two miles, and it feels great!

Not only have I felt better physically, but running has provided me with some greatly valued reflection time. Lately, I’ve been spending time considering learning on my runs. To anyone who has spent time with me as a student affairs professional or now as a faculty member, you will know that I have a passion for learning….student learning, organizational learning, etc. I am known for describing the process of learning as magical, the biology behind learning, and I work hard to be a good learning partner to others around me. While I could speak about the challenges and rewards in helping others to learn, what has been on my mind recently is the privilege that exists in higher education when one does not consider learning. It isn’t that I think privilege is suddenly gone when learning is considered, but I can’t help but wonder what it means to not be intentional with what individuals are learning from one’s practice.

James Zull speaks about the learning process in both The Art of Changing the Brain (2002) and From Brain to Mind (2011), and reminds us that learning isn’t necessarily an option. Just by simply interacting with the world around us we are bound to learn. So, learning isn’t something we can simply shut off or separate out from our understanding of the world around us. Zull encourages educators to help students (arguably he considers everyone an educator and thus, every is a student) move beyond encouraging the kind of learning that is comprised primarily of copying, and toward the kind of learning that develops ones mind. This is the kind of learning that Mezirow (2000) labeled transformative learning, which is the kind of learning we are called to practice in Learning Reconsidered (2004) and Learning Reconsidered 2 (2006). These documents encourage us, student affairs professionals, to establish learning outcomes, shape the environment to reach those learning outcomes, and to assess for learning in the experiences we provide through our practice. Regardless of the method one follows to move through this cycle (I strongly encourage being as inclusive as possible), I can’t help but wonder what one’s practice is doing if one is not pausing and intentionally moving through this process? What does it mean if one thinks that it takes too much time to consider what people should be learning from their practice, if they are helping them to learn it, and how they know if they are helping them to learn it? Or, if one thinks that learning is for the classroom? For faculty members to take care of? So, as I’ve been asking these questions on my run, I keep coming back to how much privilege must be present to be able to not consider what one wants others to learn. It seems to me that without the incorporation of intentional learning, one simply stays in a place where they are able to copy what either they themselves, or someone else, is doing, and prevents one from developing one’s mind.

04/16/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 1 Comment

I’m a Relationship Counselor (aka faculty member)

I’m a faculty member at an institution in a small town. Macomb, Illinois, to be exact. Population: 20,000.

One of the points I often hear new residents to the town make is that there is no “culture” in the town. I am often quick to point out that indeed there is culture, there just might not be a lot of arts if that is what is meant by culture (even this though can be debated..see: http://wciarts.org/). Maybe it is really noise that is missing? Which, if it is about noise, that is a whole other thing and I encourage you to sit with it.

Regardless, you might be one of those people that consider the above lack of “culture” a negative about a small town. You might also be able to list other negatives. I, though, happen to believe that all of the negatives of a small town also exist in a big city they are just hidden a bit more. Mostly because I think the negatives are more systemic in our world…more about that at another time.

There are also many positives of small towns, and one of them in Macomb is Cafe Aroma. A tip about small towns is that often local establishments are hard to discover…for example, I didn’t discover Cafe Aroma until my second year in Macomb because each time I drove past it I thought it was either a church or a physical rehabilitation center. One of the two of these I thought had a cafe in it that you could go into and pick up a quick cup of coffee. To be fair, this is the front of the building:

Okay, so lit up at night it looks a bit more like a coffee shop…to be fair, that sign on the left says “Rehabilitation Services” and there used to be a sign to the right that said the name of the church…I promise, it was there.

Boy was I wrong! This is the inside:

Feel free to enter the old adage “Don’t just a book by its cover”.

Upon discovering this gem, I’ve made it a habit to visit it in the evenings when grading or meeting with students to discuss assignments…so much that they know my name, which is quite nice. 🙂

I visit so much that just the other weekend I was asked what I “did at Western” to which I replied that I am a faculty member. The response I received was priceless…

“Really? I thought you were a relationship counselor. There’s no way that you are a faculty member. I always see people come in disgruntled and then they meet with you and are in a better place.”

My response, “Yes, those people are usually students in my classes, but you know what? I think you might be right….faculty really are relationship counselors…relationships are at the core of helping someone learn.”

And so, in true faculty mode, I will use my relationship with you (my reader) to help you learn about a local spot worth visiting if you ever find yourself in Macomb, IL…Cafe Aroma.

03/27/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 1 Comment

Yogurt Power and Cave’s

Last fall a student recommended the documentary I Am to me. Her exact words were something along the lines of, “This is you, this is what you teach, I think you would enjoy this…” Having watched the film a few times, I agree and can see why she made the connections between me and the film that she did. Although, I won’t spoil the whole film for you here, and instead will only encourage you to watch it (it is SO good!), I will highlight one of the experiments discussed in the film because it has been on my mind ever since I watched it.

At one point in the film an experiment takes place involving yogurt. As you may realize yogurt is “alive” (Yogurt! It’s Alive!), and if you didn’t realize it was “alive” I apologize for surprising you with that news and still encourage you to eat yogurt if you feel inclined (it is “alive” in a good way…I promise!…see video link above). Okay, back to the film…so, in an effort to demonstrate that we live in a world where everything is interconnected and that there is energy that exists between ourselves and everything in the world, they do a test where a person thinks about a relationship they have with another person, and the yogurt indicates if it picked up on any energy the person was sending out into the world about that relationship. Each time they completed the test the yogurt indicated activity. After watching the movie one day in class, it has sort of become “the thing” between some of the students and I to say, “I will be sure to send some good yogurt power your way” for job search experiences, tests, etc. So far, our test results have come back positive, which means that what the students have shared with me is that their interviews are going well, etc. So, naturally, I’m a believer in yogurt power. 🙂

I’ve also been thinking a lot about Plato’s Allegory of The Cave, which, and this is the part that I’ve been spending time with, describes how there are people living in a cave who only see the shadow’s on the wall and have created a whole world of beliefs for themselves based on those shadows. They have done so, without ever realizing that there is a world outside the cave that might have information that could disprove/build on/explain some of the beliefs they’ve created. Again, just like the yogurt power, discussing the power of the cave is something I’ve recently been doing with some of the students as we’ve been working together to learn about how organizations work (see Images of Organizations by Gareth Morgan to learn more about organizational theory, and what sparked our discussion). So, for example, if I believe that another person doesn’t have it together, won’t I only be looking for things that prove my hypothesis? In many ways, I think we all do this and can’t help it to some degree. In the field of student affairs (which is the field I work within) we talk about this concept when we discuss the importance of not putting people in boxes because once placed there it can be hard to get them out. I do believe though that we can try our hardest to see our cave, which not only involves reflecting on our experiences, but also actively listening to the world around us amongst other things.

So, how does the yogurt power connect to the cave (I promise that it does!)? Two posts ago, I shared a poem about a recent diagnosis my older sister received. She has breast cancer. Tomorrow she will have surgery, and it is weighing heavy on me. This morning, I spoke to her and she was so positive, and as I’ve reflected on the conversation, I can’t help but think about how much good yogurt power she is sending out to the world! Don’t hear me to say that she is operating in a cave where she can’t see that there is a whole other world outside of the cave, she can see fully what is going on (she was a nurse for many years). What she is doing though, is being so positive about all of it, which is so inspiring. So, tonight and all through the day tomorrow and for the entire next week (that is how long it will take to get the results back), I’m not only going to send prayers and thoughts to my sister…I am going to follow my older sister’s lead and send to her the best yogurt power I can muster up…feel free to join me.

03/13/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 1 Comment

David Crosby

There are many reasons that I began this blog, although I don’t think I’ve ever taken the time to articulate any of them. One of them, however, I was reminded of Tuesday night while attending a Crosby, Stills, and Nash concert with my mom. (Btw, the concert was amazing!…if you are reading this blog and have no idea who Crosby, Stills, and Nash are check out: Southern Cross or Just a Song Before I Go…yep, it was me and a bunch of old hippies at the concert–it was wonderful 🙂 )

So there I was (I guess you can’t really see me, but you might be able to imagine where I was given this photo of the band I took from my seat):

listening to some amazing musicians when I heard David Crosby say, “I fulfill the role of writing some weird sh*t” and the crowd responded with cheering. (And yes, me quoting that directly means I took out my phone and noted it word for word…I’m cool.) It was awesome, and exactly what I needed to hear. Earlier that day I had received yet another manuscript rejection. As a writer, I get that rejection is a part of the process, and that it won’t happen all of the time. I imagine though, it will probably always be a bit of a bummer when it does happen and that is the space I was in…a bummed out sort of place. I skimmed the feedback on the way to the concert, and I know that I will continue spending time with it so that I can improve the manuscript and resubmit somewhere else (hopefully resulting in a more favorable outcome the next time). All of this, however, reminded me of one of the reasons I started this blog (amazing what one comment from David Crosby can do!), which was to write more often.

I believe that writing is a skill, and one that I have had to work quite hard at over the years. I wish I was one of those people who could just churn out a publishable article in one or two settings, but I am not. Instead, I experience a laborious process of continual writing and rewriting (aka editing…sometimes I wonder if somehow I skipped a few grammar lessons here and there??), but perhaps the most challenging part of the process is managing my own self-talk. UGGG!! The voices in my head that question if I am any good at it, if what I am writing makes sense, and then most annoying is the voice that says, “It just seems like everyone else has a much easier time writing than you do.” I often respond back with “Just keep working at it…putting in hard work will pay off” and “You don’t have a clue what the process is that other people use to write and who really cares anyway! Just keep trying your best!” and then I get back to writing.

So, now you know one of the reasons I had for starting up my blog…to practice my writing skills (which I highly recommend to others who are a bit more like me when it comes to the writing process). And, if you are anything like me when it comes to writing, hopefully knowing that David Crosby is on our team brings a bit of comfort 🙂 (I also recommend listening to this video of him singing Turn, Turn, Turn next time you need a writing break).