Tag Archives: left foot

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Issues With the Left Side

No, this is not about the political left, although you might find it to still be political.  It is more about finding hope in the recovery process regarding the left side of my body, specifically my left foot.

If you’ve been a follower of my blog over the past few years, you know that I acquired foot drop due to what I call my “life explosion” in January 2015.  I continue to work on my recovery and refuse to believe that I will stop making progress.  And, I do continue to make progress…just a few weeks ago I was able to complete five wall squats in which my left knee was level with my right knee.  This was quite exciting!  For months, due to weakness in my left hip, my left knee would turn in toward my right essentially allowing my right leg to do all of the work.  So, my PT started, and continues, to engage me in a wide variety of hip strengthening exercises.  One of which left me with inner thigh pain during spring break (major bummer) and all of which I’ve made progress in doing.  This is great news!

Still, I walk around with what is affectionately referred to as “stroke walk” and I still work to walk 4,000 steps a day.  I have moved to using a handmade wooden cane (and yes, I try to be very Dr. “House”-like with it).

I even managed to do most of the yard work this spring on my own, with shoveling being the greatest challenge.  I created a work around, though, and would use the small gardening shovel which only required more time.

Yesterday, though…yesterday frustrated me quite a bit.  First, I’ve been experiencing the pains of an in-grown toenail.  (If you are not a foot person, I apologize…and please know I am not a foot person either, but have become more comfortable with everything ‘body’ since my time in the hospital.).  This issue has been going on for a few months, however it wasn’t until recently that I went to the doctor about it.  I’m waiting to go to another doctor about it in the near future.  In the meanwhile, I soak my foot each night and use my Bioness to help keep pressure off my left foot.  Upon doing my own research and talking to the doctor, in-grown toenails are common amongst those with gait issues.  Lovely.

Second, it was raining outside.  This issue isn’t as bad as the first one, due to the fact that it is making it so that I don’t have to water the plants in the yard.  At the same time, however, it is both challenging to get all of my steps in and then walk inside a building without a carpet nearby (or a carpet that actually soaks up water) safely.  Essentially, I just need to get used to the squishy shoe sound and doing my best to drag my foot on any mat available in an attempt to wipe off the water.

Finally, I am so excited about the cognitive gains that I’ve made, especially this past spring.  Sort of similar to my wall squats, I’ve improved to the point where I actually have energy throughout the day and it’s wonderful!  Please don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t extend to unfamiliar environments; in those environments, I still lose energy quite quickly.  For example, attending a conference was quite a challenge this past spring.

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Me (on the right) at one of the conference presentations.

However, I keep pushing myself.  Everyone I speak too (e.g. doctors, nurses, therapists, etc.) encourages me to keep going, reminding me that it is possible to regain abilities even years later.  Just this week, I found this hopeful quote inside a book I’m reading for a book club,

Neural plasticity is the field of research into how, when, and why the brain develops (Stiles, 2000).  The findings of that field go against the prevailing cultural narrative of fixed intelligence.  Rather than reaching our intellectual potential in our mid-20s and simply staying there, our brains continue to develop in the areas that correspond to the skills we practice (Fuchs & Fluegge, 2014; Stiles, 2000) (p. 170).

So, here’s to continuing to practice walking “non-stroke-style”!

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Foot Drop or Drop Foot

It does not matter which way you phrase it, as both are used in the medical community.  If you desire to learn more about the medical reasons for this condition, click here, as this post will not be one in which the condition sounds distant and easily solvable because I have foot drop.

I’ve spent time thinking about foot drop lately, although I’m not quite sure I can explain fully why. Perhaps it is due to the spring weather that is causing me to want to be outdoors, or perhaps it is due to the fact that last spring I was thinking about foot drop too.  I am a believer in such energy connections existing in the world. No matter the reason, it has been on my mind, and the following are some descriptions as to what my experience is like:

Spring is here!

Spring is here!

First, my left foot is freezing most of the time, however, this does not mean that it has no pulse.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.  The blood is moving around great!  🙂 Unfortunately, while my brain is doing a good job working with the rest of my body to maintain a regular temperature, my left foot has gone rogue…and from time to time is so painful that I think it is trying to secede from the union of my body.  When it is not freezing, it is sometimes a lovely burning feeling, that can be so painful that I have to remove my shoe or brace right away to cool it down. In between these two temperatures are phases of it feeling as though it is one giant bruise, as if I’m getting a blister, or it has no feeling at all. I prefer the last option, if I have to choose.

Second, I can’t feel much of my leg from the left knee down…I only know that it feels heavier than my right leg.  I can also feel pressure, and the tips of my toes have gained a great suction ability of some sort to hold my leg in place if necessary (usually at night when I’m walking on our wood floor with socks on).  One might think this is a neat super power, but I assure you it is not and often leads to feeling the kind of pain that could be relieved if I could spread my toes, but I cannot…so that stinks.

Evidence of my high school coolness

Evidence of my high school coolness

Third, spastic is not just a term I used in the early 1990s when I was a teenager and was trying to describe how someone was acting. (I know, I was cool.  🙂 ) It is a term that describes my leg when it is refusing to do what I want it to do.  In these moments, it pouts by going rigid with my foot wanting to roll inward even with a shoe on my foot.  If I am standing, which is usually the case (because I’m often turning too quickly, I’m tired, or I’m walking down an incline without thinking about it) when this happens, you can imagine how challenging it is, and I have to stop walking.   The only way I’ve found to resolve this issue is to consciously tell my leg to calm down (I use a stern tone, and give it a good side-eyed glare).  If that doesn’t work, I bend over to apply pressure to my ankle area.  The upside is that there is no feeling other than stiffness when this happens…it just doesn’t look “pretty”.

Fourth, when I wake up in the morning, it often feels as though my left leg is hatching from an egg.  As if I’ve been curled up all night with my leg tucked in tightly (which, I assure you, has not occurred) and moving it is a new experience that is both refreshing, and irritating at the same time.  Another way to describe it is that it feels twisted, as though it is the leg of a table, and needs one more turn around before it evens out the table top.

I use a quad cane.

I recommend the quad cane.

Fifth, I consciously think about walking with almost every step that I take, as well as the weight distribution of my entire body.  Yes, I am grateful that I am able to walk, and I know that I’ve improved a lot..however, in my mind, I look as though I’m impersonating a toddler learning how to walk, and get tired from having to think about lifting my leg, shifting my weight around, as well as assessing where each chair, table, and other people are walking, so that I can stay clear and/or have something safe to hold onto if necessary.  (This is where the cane comes into play, as most folks stay clear of it.)