03/18/2016 by @Sit_With_It - 2 Comments

Foot Drop or Drop Foot

It does not matter which way you phrase it, as both are used in the medical community. If you desire to learn more about the medical reasons for this condition, click here, as this post will not be one in which the condition sounds distant and easily solvable because I have foot drop.

I’ve spent time thinking about foot drop lately, although I’m not quite sure I can explain fully why. Perhaps it is due to the spring weather that is causing me to want to be outdoors, or perhaps it is due to the fact that last spring I was thinking about foot drop too. I am a believer in such energy connections existing in the world. No matter the reason, it has been on my mind, and the following are some descriptions as to what my experience is like:

Spring is here!

First, my left foot is freezing most of the time, however, this does not mean that it has no pulse. In fact, it is quite the opposite. The blood is moving around great! 🙂 Unfortunately, while my brain is doing a good job working with the rest of my body to maintain a regular temperature, my left foot has gone rogue…and from time to time is so painful that I think it is trying to secede from the union of my body. When it is not freezing, it is sometimes a lovely burning feeling, that can be so painful that I have to remove my shoe or brace right away to cool it down. In between these two temperatures are phases of it feeling as though it is one giant bruise, as if I’m getting a blister, or it has no feeling at all. I prefer the last option, if I have to choose.

Second, I can’t feel much of my leg from the left knee down…I only know that it feels heavier than my right leg. I can also feel pressure, and the tips of my toes have gained a great suction ability of some sort to hold my leg in place if necessary (usually at night when I’m walking on our wood floor with socks on). One might think this is a neat super power, but I assure you it is not and often leads to feeling the kind of pain that could be relieved if I could spread my toes, but I cannot…so that stinks.

Evidence of my high school coolness

Third, spastic is not just a term I used in the early 1990s when I was a teenager and was trying to describe how someone was acting. (I know, I was cool. 🙂 ) It is a term that describes my leg when it is refusing to do what I want it to do. In these moments, it pouts by going rigid with my foot wanting to roll inward even with a shoe on my foot. If I am standing, which is usually the case (because I’m often turning too quickly, I’m tired, or I’m walking down an incline without thinking about it) when this happens, you can imagine how challenging it is, and I have to stop walking. The only way I’ve found to resolve this issue is to consciously tell my leg to calm down (I use a stern tone, and give it a good side-eyed glare). If that doesn’t work, I bend over to apply pressure to my ankle area. The upside is that there is no feeling other than stiffness when this happens…it just doesn’t look “pretty”.

Fourth, when I wake up in the morning, it often feels as though my left leg is hatching from an egg. As if I’ve been curled up all night with my leg tucked in tightly (which, I assure you, has not occurred) and moving it is a new experience that is both refreshing, and irritating at the same time. Another way to describe it is that it feels twisted, as though it is the leg of a table, and needs one more turn around before it evens out the table top.

I recommend the quad cane.

Fifth, I consciously think about walking with almost every step that I take, as well as the weight distribution of my entire body. Yes, I am grateful that I am able to walk, and I know that I’ve improved a lot..however, in my mind, I look as though I’m impersonating a toddler learning how to walk, and get tired from having to think about lifting my leg, shifting my weight around, as well as assessing where each chair, table, and other people are walking, so that I can stay clear and/or have something safe to hold onto if necessary. (This is where the cane comes into play, as most folks stay clear of it.)

09/27/2015 by @Sit_With_It - 0 comments

Health Update: Thank you to my OSF-Peoria Caregivers

I don’t usually use my blog to post updates about my health, but I thought I would do so this week. That way there is a more permanent thank you out there in the Internet world for those who helped me begin my recovery journey at OSF-Peoria.

In case folks didn’t know, this past week was Rehabilitation Awareness Week at OSF-Peoria. I received an invitation to attend after being identified as an all-star rehabilitation patient by my therapists. It was a huge honor for me to receive such a invitation, and I want to say thank you to my adventure partner, John Nathan, for taking me.

Attending meant having an opportunity to thank everyone at OSF-Peoria who helped me during my first two months post health issues. It was a wonderful event too. Great job to the folks who put it together! Each day, I’m thankful to be here to have a chance to say thank you. Some of you might know that I’m working on a book about my experience, but I anticipate it being a bit before I get it to a publishable quality. Still, I do have a draft of the whole book written, and a list of edits to make to it. Thus, in place of having a book to share with the world in which I have written my thank you to all who were a part of my recovery, I thought I would post some photos from the rehab celebration.

My PT and OT Team. There were many more therapists that I worked with, but these two put up with me the most. 😉

Me and Niko meeting up again after our time in rehab together.

Me, Heather, and Niko laughing…probably at something funny Niko said. 🙂

The contraption that I have hanging around my neck is a remote to my Bioness, which is an electrical stimulation unit that activates my peroneal nerve that is causing my foot drop. I’ve been using it for about two months now, and it has helped me improve in my walking. It was fun to be with folks who were excited that I have it. Of course, I was instantly SUPER nervous to walk, so didn’t walk without my cane until after everyone left, and then I let John take this video of me.

Thank you, thank you, OSF-Peoria!

04/10/2015 by @Sit_With_It - 9 Comments

Seven Lessons I’ve Learned From My Strokes

2015 has been quite the year to say the least. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on various ways in which I’ve begun to establish a “new normal” for myself. The following are 7 of those ways:

1. Thank goodness for long arms. They’ve helped me be a state rated basketball player for blocked shots in high school, and make the all-conference team, and they’ve annoyed me when I’ve gone clothes shopping. But mostly these days, I’m ever grateful for their ability to reach…especially when taking a shower. I currently get the opportunity to take a shower in a shower chair, which means an extendable shower sprayer had to be installed too. Ideally, before I take a shower either I or my husband remember to take down the sprayer and set it in the tub, but there has been occasions in which it has been forgotten. During these situations, I used my arms to get it down without having to stand up, so that I don’t fall over (falling would pretty much be the worst thing that I could do). My arms have also helped me greatly in putting on my afo, getting dressed, and in completing other tasks that require a long reach.

2. The quad cane has multiple uses. This realization really should have been something that occurred to me after watching the Pixar movie Up for the first time. But, the many uses of it are coming into full effect now that I have one and use it. I’ve used it to reach for puzzle pieces accidentally dropped on the floor. I’ve turned it around to use the hook end to grab my MDH rehab bag. I’ve used it to open and close various curtains in my house. One day I will hopefully no longer need the quad cane for walking, but I might just keep it around for its other functions.

3. There are added benefits to living in the South. I returned home at the end of February, and for the first few weeks there seemed to be a direct causation between my need to go to therapy and bad weather. Unfortunately, this put a kink in my opportunity to take walks outside. It has since turned to spring 🙂 , and I enjoy walking around the neighborhood. But, I did notice how envious I was of my friends living in warmer climates during the end of February and most of the month of March. Of course, I think I would feel different if it was July/August that I was talking about…I’d probably be complaining about the heat. I fully support all of us getting the month of February off to move to a warmer climate to heal in various ways.

4. Fast does not exist. M.C. Hammer declared Hammer time, and there now exists Sarah time. It isn’t a matter of me waking up early enough, or not trying. It is simply that I cannot move fast. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ridiculously slow, but I take a more relaxed pace these days.

5. It is sometimes better to not have answers. When you don’t know why something occurred, you have more time to do things like notice each day how much the spring flowers have grown, the trees have bud, and you appreciate the birds chirping. When you know the answers to things you often have a responsibility to use those answers to inform your experience in the world, and it can cause you to not notice many things.

6. Living takes courage. Prior to all of my health concerns, I don’t think I was fully aware of how much courage it took for me to live my every day life. I certainly realize it now, and more fully appreciate the people who are giving me opportunities to live. Yes, I look different when I’m walking, but in order for me to get better, I need to be given chances to do what I used to be able to do. Asking for those opportunities and then taking advantage of them takes all of the courage I have left. I get that providing me such opportunities might make some people feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, but honestly I can’t help but feel so strongly that those folks need to work on getting over it. Those issues aren’t mine, they are the other persons and to truly be accepting of others we need to be aware of what is our stuff and what is their stuff and what they are doing to our interactions/relationships. After all, we are in this world together.

7. Learning is painful. I had a student once who coined the phrase “if you aren’t crying, you aren’t learning”. I don’t know that crying is necessary, but pain is most certainly necessary. Both here in Macomb and when I was in Peoria, if I shared with any of my therapists that I was feeling physical pain of any sort, their response was often “Good! Pain is the first feeling to come back, so hopefully it means it is waking up.” This, of course, was not the response I was aiming for, yet I did notice the pattern associated with pain and physical ability improvement.

07/03/2014 by @Sit_With_It - 2 Comments

Lake Vermilion Walks

I am the type of person who enjoys being outdoors….taking a walk, reading a book, writing a blog post…any time outside is rejuvenating. I do know, however, that it needs to be the kind of outside where I can enjoy nature. I really loved living right outside of DC for many reasons, but I don’t miss all of the buildings and the smell of car exhaust. I love the outdoors so much that I know that when I get extra crabby during the winter it is often because I haven’t been outside enough. One of my favorite parts about Macomb, Illinois, are the stars at night. I love taking a walk at night, especially during the winter when it is crisp and cold, and seeing all of the stars. It is something that just can’t be replicated in a city, and the calmness of the air helps me to put a lot of experiences in perspective. (If you ever make it to Macomb, IL, in the winter, I highly recommend taking a winter night walk :).)

Another place I enjoy spending time is on Lake Vermilion in Minnesota.

I remember living in Maryland, and sharing with some of the folks there that I was going to spend my vacation in Northern Minnesota. The response I received was confusion. Why in the world would I go on vacation to Minnesota, and even more why would I go to Northern Minnesota? I suppose if I hadn’t moved around so much throughout my life, I might not understand their questions, but I do know that most people tend to explore the same places. In fact, I suppose that is part of the reason why I enjoy spending time on Lake Vermilion.

One of my favorite activities to do at Lake Vermilion actually doesn’t actually involve getting in the lake. Rather, I enjoy taking walks on the road that goes right along the lake. It is about a 6 mile hike (round trip) from the cabin I stay in to the end of the road.

This is the beginning of the road.

And, I kid you not, it is uphill both ways. My mom and I joke about how it is a great butt workout.

A hill (I swear it is a hill…I realize it might not look like much of a hill…my phone camera and non-existent camera skills don’t do it justice!)

Another hill.

Even more hills.

Occasionally, I will get it in my mind that I can run the distance, but I pretty much think I hike the hills no matter what, and really just run in between (I probably should also change the word run to jog :)). Oh, and there are beautiful lake side views to enjoy:

As well as humorous mailboxes:

Besides the fresh air, I love looking at the forest and all of the wild flowers that grow under the trees. Some of my favorites are:

Unfortunately, I’m not sure what any of them are called. I do know that if I was up here in later July or August, I would also find wild blueberries and raspberries. I was often told as a little girl to go pick wild berries when I said I was bored and/or there was nothing to do.

From time to time on my walks, I am also reminded that the forest is the permanent home of quite a few animals. So far this summer I’ve seen:

deer (this is just one of several deer I’ve seen),

ducks,

a turtle (who always seems to want to be going to the other side of the road),

and a fox.

I know that how I find calmness might not be the same as everyone else, and that is cool…Lake Vermilion walks wouldn’t be the same if they did. 🙂